Appropriate Gifts for a Bar Mitzvah

• Gifts are normally given to the guest of honor at the reception rather than the actual ceremony. The most common rule of thumb is to give the same type of gift as one would for the boy's 13th birthday. The type of gift depends on how well you know the honoree; common gifts include elegant pen sets or savings bonds, but those are usually reserved for family members and close friends. Gifts having to do with Judaism are always a safe bet, such as a book about a famous Jewish figure, but more and more generic gifts are coming into play, from skateboards to video games. Asking the family, or the family rabbi, never hurts. Cash also is a viable option.
  
  

How Much to Spend

• Again, it depends on how well you know the honoree. Dollar amounts are less important on material gifts than they are with cash; spend $30 to $50 and you'll likely be in line with what most other guests are spending. If you give cash, some people give multiples of $18, a spiritual number in Judaism because the letters in the Hebrew word for life, "chai," add up to 18.
  
  Don Rosenberg, a DVD distributor in Westlake Village, California, has gone through two bar mitzvah ceremonies for his two sons, and has attended countless others. He typically gives cash. How much? "It all depends on your relationship and how many people are going and the area you live in," Rosenberg says. "The gift can range from as low as $36 to as high as $300 if it's a really close family friend or relative and your entire family is going to the reception. The best guess is about $50 a person attending but maxing at $150 if you're all going."