When a marriage ends, it can be traumatizing for all involved. Of course it has a great effect on the husband and wife, but the children in the marriage will be affected as well. And, Although the emotional burdens on each of the partners can be hard, when compared to how your divorce will emotionally affect your child, it is trivial.
To children the home is a place where they can always return to for safety. This is especially true for smaller children. It represents security. He knows that regardless of the problems that he is experiencing at school, in the parks, in the neighborhood, and so forth - he can always return to home, the place where his parents will protect and take care of him.
Then suddenly, out of the blue, he discovers that the two adults who he has counted on being there for all of his life, are breaking up. It can be devastating. And furthermore, there is not a thing that he can do to change the situation. Children feel without power much of the time anyway, and this just adds to his sense of powerlessness, depression, and desperation.
A huge reason for much of the sense of helplessness that the child feels is due to the fact the she has not had time to emotionally prepare for the breakup because she didn't see it coming. After all, the adults have probably talked about this for months and even then, as adults, are still grappling with their emotions. So, just think of what effect this must have on a young child who doesn't have the benefit of their years of maturity. So, whatever you do, whenever the divorce seems imminent and unavoidable, try to avoid surprising your children with it.
Once you and your partner have definitely made the decision that you are going to divorce or separate, sit down and talk to your child. Ensure that you ease him into understanding and accepting the decision. And make sure that the both of you will be there for him to talk to as the transition takes place
Every child is different. And no one knows for sure exactly how a child will react when he finds out his parents are getting divorced. For example, there are some children who will begin to wet the bed - an almost certain sign of their anxiety and insecurity. Others will become angry and begin to act out their frustrations and anger with uncharacteristic temper tantrums. And still others will withdraw into a shell as they try to shut off their feelings and protect themselves from being emotionally injured.
If you can afford it, one of the first things that you should do, once you have decided to go through with the divorce, is to make an appointment with a divorce counselor. As a matter of fact, you should make this appointment before you even let your children know. Your therapist will probably provide you with a number of excellent recommendations as to the best ways to break the news to your children. She can also greatly help you to comprehend what kinds of reactions you can expect to see in your them. Seeing a therapist, may be good for you, but ultimately it's just another thing that you do in an attempt to ensure that, however the divorce turns out, your children will remain emotionally secure.
How the parents collectively handle the divorce proceedings are critical in determining how your child is able to handle emotional relationships as he grows older. If both partners are able to handle the break-up responsibly, chances are that the child will not have many ill emotional effects from it. On the other hand, if the adults handle it badly, their child could very well become emotionally damaged for the remainder of their life.
To children the home is a place where they can always return to for safety. This is especially true for smaller children. It represents security. He knows that regardless of the problems that he is experiencing at school, in the parks, in the neighborhood, and so forth - he can always return to home, the place where his parents will protect and take care of him.
Then suddenly, out of the blue, he discovers that the two adults who he has counted on being there for all of his life, are breaking up. It can be devastating. And furthermore, there is not a thing that he can do to change the situation. Children feel without power much of the time anyway, and this just adds to his sense of powerlessness, depression, and desperation.
A huge reason for much of the sense of helplessness that the child feels is due to the fact the she has not had time to emotionally prepare for the breakup because she didn't see it coming. After all, the adults have probably talked about this for months and even then, as adults, are still grappling with their emotions. So, just think of what effect this must have on a young child who doesn't have the benefit of their years of maturity. So, whatever you do, whenever the divorce seems imminent and unavoidable, try to avoid surprising your children with it.
Once you and your partner have definitely made the decision that you are going to divorce or separate, sit down and talk to your child. Ensure that you ease him into understanding and accepting the decision. And make sure that the both of you will be there for him to talk to as the transition takes place
Every child is different. And no one knows for sure exactly how a child will react when he finds out his parents are getting divorced. For example, there are some children who will begin to wet the bed - an almost certain sign of their anxiety and insecurity. Others will become angry and begin to act out their frustrations and anger with uncharacteristic temper tantrums. And still others will withdraw into a shell as they try to shut off their feelings and protect themselves from being emotionally injured.
If you can afford it, one of the first things that you should do, once you have decided to go through with the divorce, is to make an appointment with a divorce counselor. As a matter of fact, you should make this appointment before you even let your children know. Your therapist will probably provide you with a number of excellent recommendations as to the best ways to break the news to your children. She can also greatly help you to comprehend what kinds of reactions you can expect to see in your them. Seeing a therapist, may be good for you, but ultimately it's just another thing that you do in an attempt to ensure that, however the divorce turns out, your children will remain emotionally secure.
How the parents collectively handle the divorce proceedings are critical in determining how your child is able to handle emotional relationships as he grows older. If both partners are able to handle the break-up responsibly, chances are that the child will not have many ill emotional effects from it. On the other hand, if the adults handle it badly, their child could very well become emotionally damaged for the remainder of their life.
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